Marriage Jokes

My friend who is based in Germany now sent me marriage jokes. But I only posted those I like most or those I believed as hilarious. Enjoy. Read on:

Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffer-Ring.

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOR listens.

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: Aren’t you wearing your ring on the wrong finger? The other replied, Yes, I am. I married to the wrong man.

A man inserted an ad in the paper – “Wife Wanted.” The next day he received hundreds of letters and they all said the same thing – “You can have mine.”

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.